From St Padre Pio’s letter to his spiritual director Fr Benedetto March 6, 1917 being discussed today March 6 2026! Wow! The power of the written word- anyway- here is what he wrote:

“It takes only the least little thing for me to get agitated.

I want to only think about Jesus. I want my heart to beat only and always for Him, and I have promised all this to Jesus in earnest. But alas! I realize only too well that my mind wanders or even ceases to function in a difficult spiritual trial and then my heard can do nothing except languish in that sorrow.”

First of all, did I write this? I also struggle with keeping Jesus in my mind and heart and in getting easily agitated!

I often ramble mindlessly to myself a lot. I stop and redirect to my only good – God – but then I flip right back into nonsense.

Each morning I want to be focused on doing good. On treating others as if they are Jesus. But then when I am busy and if my husband wants to talk to me I want to punch him.

So there goes that. I am supposed to be using the prayer from Hallow Lent 40 challenge – empty me, fill me , use me.

But I forget that too. A lot. I think for everything I struggle to remember I have to give it to God. i want to have Him be my first priority and I try my best .Some of the issue is cognitive. The rest is just stubbornness or pride.

I think as long as our intention is there to focus, to do good and to be present to God that our reality (so long as there is no sin involved) is just accepted as like when my kids were little and they tried to help me clean. It took longer and it was messier ultimately when we finished but it was heartwarming and so wonderful to know my kids wanted to spend time with me anyway no matter what.

It is comforting to know that St Padre Pio, a great saint that I feel I have a relationship with as spiritual daughter, felt this way about his own relationship with God.

It means there is hope for me yet!